it is STATE LAW that you must be a RELIGIOUS minister in a Conspiracy RECOGNIZED religion, to be able to sign the STATE'S paperwork legalizing a government contract. As all factions of the Con work together to keep The SubGenius down - many States have seen to it that it is written into law that one must be ordained by an officially recognized religion to be certified. (Yet another way to bring money in to the coffers.) Give the Normals everything they're willing to pay for, even if it's their own delusions.Įnter the muscular left tentacle of the Anti-Conspiracy Demon, The other churches. "So what if I need to be certified by my State?"Įvery state is different some require that you be a "legal minister," and/or require a fee. Sometimes it can be anyone, no one, or other times it needs to be a properly certified person.
Who this "minister" needs to be, or if he needs to be at all, depends on State Law. To help perpetuate the Ceremony Myth, many States require a signature from a "minister". "But doesn't a priest or some holy person have to sign something too?" For everyone knows the more elaborate and expensive the wedding, the more meaningful and lasting the relationship. So they lie to themselves and pretend that they are not really married until some grand performance ensues which involves giving even more money to various Conspiracy collaborators, who in turn use the millions to perpetuate the myth of a traditional wedding. It's not the perfect fairy tale marriage the Conspiracy force feeds to them though daytime TV, hack novels and Barbie Dolls. Now for a SubGenius that false ceremony in itself is considered to be the most lovely part of The Deed and many decide to consummate the Conspiracy Marriage in the Court House parking lot. "thank you, have a nice day, number 72 please." That's it, as far as the State is concerned, once the paper work goes through, you're married. Then you and your true love walk hand in hand across the scuffed tiled floor, in morgue like silence, to the glass partition, slide the cash to the Government Zombie, sign the paperwork, and. This is the beautiful moment when, after waiting for 3 hours your numbered ticket is called. " So what is the Conspiracy concerned about? "įirst, that the individuals to be married have paid the proper fee to the proper Conspiracy Court and obtained a Marriage License. We are, of course, talking here about legal Conspiracy Marriages the ones worrying most Normals from whom you will be scaming a preachers fee.
In many states you can be married by (and sometimes even to) your cousin or any drunk off the street. The shocking truth is that none of the 50 states could give a 2 fucks of a praire squid whether you're ordained or not. This unfortunately does not have a simple yes or no answer it all depends on your state. "Can I legally marry people now that I am ordained in the Church of the SubGenius?"
This is not a legal document, check your state laws. So I came up with this to help answer the burning question. Ok This is about the 4th or 5th question I am asked most. "Can I legally marry people now that I am ordained in the Church of the SubGenius?" "Can I legally marry people now that I am ordained in the Church of the SubGenius?"